The Taste Of Stone
by Stratocruiser
Summary: They say April is cruelest month, but March hit Hawkeye Pierce like a lead pipe. HM, minor character death.
1. Chapter 1

**the taste of stone**

**rated t**

They say April is cruelest month, but March hit Hawkeye Pierce like a lead pipe.

His children blew through the house like ghosts. They sat shell-shocked in the kitchen reading the slim paper. Hawkeye watched them from the living room. At seventeen and fourteen, they looked very much like minature versions of their parents. The occasional mumbles that passed between them were lost in the sound of the fireplace.

Their mother slept upstairs. She was constantly at full throttle the past two days and it all caught up to her earlier that morning. He found her at the window, head bowed and steaming up the glass with her breathing. Somehow Hawkeye found the strength to carry her to bed.

A knock at the door meant more food. His daughter exchanged a few pleasantries and was then talking to her younger brother.

"...think we should cut it..."

"...save some for Mom or Dad...not eating much, I guess..."

Hawkeye found him. He wasn't at the office. There was no smoke coming from the chimney. The paper was still on the porch. The house was unnaturally cold and silent.

That was Monday. This is Wednesday.

A log popped in the fireplace. He watched the sparks fly and realized how terribly empty everything felt. Seeing Ellie looking so dazed at the airport. Ben picking at his food. Hawkeye went upstairs and found Margaret spread out on their bed. He slid into the cool sheets beside her and let the warm tears run down his cheeks.

Tomorrow he'd bury his father.


	2. Chapter 2

That afternoon Hawkeye found Ellie smoking a cigarette behind the boathouse. He went for a walk to get some fresh air. Instead, he was surprised and dismayed by his daughter's new habit.

"You'll blow a hole in your lungs," he warned. Ellie took a long drag and blew the smoke in the air. The soil was damp and spongy from snowmelt, squishing under their feet.

"I'm sorry Dad. About Grandpa," she said, faltering slightly. Hawkeye turned toward the water so she wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. His father loved the ocean. Ellie was the same way.

She smoked the cigarette down to the filter and sat it on the ledge. Then she reached out for Hawkeye, burying her head in his chest. Ellie didn't cry. He held her and stared at the cigarette as the wind blew what remained of the smoke out to the ocean.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Margaret was still asleep. When Hawkeye went up to check on her, the house seemed cold and quiet. It was a chill even the fireplace couldn't shake. It made him feel old.

She sprawled on the bed, the covers in waves around her and the light from the fire making her hair golden and honey-colored. All the words he whispered in that bed...there were so many promises he made, some that lived and some that were broken. The promise he'd never stop loving her always stayed through. Margaret was just as devastated as he was. So why was it so hard to comfort the only woman he'd ever really loved other than his mother?

Daniel Pierce never had a daughter. Margaret filled that role. He was protective in the same way Potter had always been. If something went wrong, it was usually Daniel who stepped in. Just his comforting presence, the presence Hawkeye missed so much in Korea, could smooth over almost any situation.

Margaret yawned and at up, staring at the fire.

"How long was I sleeping?"

He sighed and sat on the bed. "About three hours. You needed it, though," Hawkeye said, touching her rosy cheek, warm from the fire.

"The kids..."

"They're fine," he said, although he wasn't going to tell her about Ellie's new habit.

"OK," Margaret said, with a tone of resignation.

Hawkeye pulled back the covers and crawled in beside her. Sleep seemed like a good idea. He buried his face in Margaret's hair and felt the heat from the fireplace start to relax his chilled bones. There was so much they didn't know about each other. How much do you really know about anyone? Even though they'd been married for over twenty years, he still knew very little about his wife's childhood. Maybe knowing about Frank Burns was enough.

Charles had called with his condolences earlier in the day. It was still amazing to think he'd become a good friend. Charles still had a crush on Margaret, something they all found funny.

A crackle and pop resonated through the house. Ben put a Tyrone Davis record on and the music started to float through the heat registers. It was about five o'clock and the shadows were beginning to deepen.

" I should make dinner," Margaret mumbled, turning to face him. They rubbed noses for a minute, then kissed.

"Let me make it. I need to do something. Today is killing me," Hawkeye said, kissing her again. Footfalls erupted down the hallway, signalling the approach of Ellie. She walked with a flat-footed splat that was easy to recognize. The house had been so quiet without it.

"When's dinner?" she asked through the shut door.

"Soon," they answered in unison. The sounds of Ellie padding away echoed in the cold wood. Hawkeye fell heavily back on the pillow and covered his eyes with his hands.

"Maybe I should make dinner. You look like hell," Margaret said, not unkindly. She kissed his cheek and slowly crawled out of bed, shaking on a robe.

"I miss...," Hawkeye started, trailing off.

Margaret turned on her way out the door.

"I know. I miss him too," she said quietly.

The door shut behind her. Hawkeye stared at it, thoughts of finality filling his mind. One day they'd both walk through that door for the last time. Or maybe it would be one of the kids. He couldn't handle any of it. The quiet sounds of the house began to die around him as sleep crept in.


	3. Chapter 3

The sounds of the house soothed Hawkeye with their familiarness. Something sizzled and glasses clinked in the kitchen as the soft sound of the TV mixed in from the living room. Margaret's voice rang through the house with its old lilt, which had softened in the years since Korea. He smiled at the sound of Ben and Ellie's voices at the table, the muttered give-and-take he missed since Ellie escaped to college.

Then he must have slept because Margaret was in the room again. She was beside him in bed, reading the paper with her glasses on.

"Mmmpfh. Hey sexy," Hawkeye muttered, turning over on his back.

"Hey yourself. I brought you some dinner," she said softly, never looking away from the paper. A tray with a sandwich and orange juice sat on his bedside table. Hawkeye sat up slowly and began to eat.

"You know, it's funny we still eat so much peanut butter. We ate so much in Korea I used to dream about Mr. Peanut trying to kill me in the middle of the night," he said.

"Well, if the stink in your tent didn't get you, you were lucky. It killed me everytime I had to go in there."

"You didn't come in there much, if I recall. Save for when we had some serious booze going."

Margaret swatted at him but missed. She was doing better, not as weepy or disoriented. Funny how she seemed emotionless when her own father died. Al Houlihan had made a shaky truce with Hawkeye but relations were still strained. He criticised every car they bought, Maine, the fact the kids didn't go to private school...and those criticisms hurt. Al loved his grandchildren but was always talking about what a great nurse Ellie would be. They'd known long ago that Ellie wasn't cut out for medical work. She fainted at the sight of her own blood.

"Disgusting!" Ben said loudly from somewhere in the house. "It's all in your teeth!"

"She must have that saltwater taffy,"said Margaret. It was a standard gift from Margaret's sister, who'd finally settled down in Atlantic City. Mary couldn't get through her head that no one really liked it. It spent most of its time sitting in a glass container on the coffee table. Sometimes Ellie or Ben would jam about ten pieces in their mouths and gross everyone out.

The bedroom door flew open. Ben came in with his sister not far behind. "Okay Ellie. Show them," Ben commanded. Ellie smiled like a Cheshire Cat and stuck out her tongue, stained a vibrant shade of green.

"I can't believe you got a _college scholarship_," Margaret moaned as the kids sat on the bed.

They laughed and then sat silently. A wave of sadness had hit them at once. Ben stared at the floor, running a hand over his lower lip. This was about as troubled as Hawkeye had ever seen the kid. Ben was happy-go-lucky and sweet. A good argument for a mix-up at the hospital. But Daniel Pierce was a real pussycat, too.

"I remember Dad taking me out to lunch on the day I told him I was going to marry your mom," Hawkeye said wistfully, out of the blue. Margaret looked up quickly.

"He said he was so proud I'd found someone and I could someday have a family, too. Dad knew I'd changed in Korea. He said I was shutting people out. By getting married I was letting people back in."

Margaret smiled warmly through her teary eyes. "He was like a father to me. I couldn't, you know, talk to my father about lots of things. But with Daniel I always felt safe, like I could open up to him about being scared about having babies and how it would be to be a mom. He protected me," she said.

"Grandpa told me, once, when I was real small, that we'll never know what lies on the bottom of the ocean at its deepest. That started me thinking about how insignificant we are in the whole scheme of things. And I had to know what was down there," said Ellie. Hawkeye put a hand on her back.

"He always came to my games. He used to let me drive his car around the elementary school parking lot, too. I guess I wasn't supposed to tell you guys that," Ben said, blushing.

"That's okay. That's how I learned," Ellie said, adding quietly, "I can't believe we're burying him tomorrow."

They shook their heads. Hawkeye looked at all of them, marvelling at how different his family was, and how special. Without Daniel Pierce they never would have happened. Ben and Ellie left, dragging their feet down the long hallway.

"I've had four cups of coffee and I'll never get any sleep," Margaret sighed. "And I have to sing tomorrow."

"You'll sleep. Come here," Hawkeye beckoned. She leaned against his chest. They sat silently like that for a moment, just listening to each other's breathing. The sound calmed Hawkeye immensley. Closing his eyes, he could see them at the 4077th bickering, making love, bickering, kissing, bickering and slowly falling for one another. The realization that he loved Margaret literally knocked the wind and the rug out from under him. None of the gang could believe it when they got married. The Pierce children were treated with awe when some of them got together. Klinger said it was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen, more amazing than the time Frances Kusnierz downed 14 Packo's dogs in one sitting. Ellie and Ben were miracle children in the sense that Hawkeye and Margaret loving each other was a miracle. Sure, the others had kids...Charles had a son, Klinger a daughter and Radar had five country girls to look after. But Ben and his sister were special and both Hawkeye and Margaret knew that.

He began massaging her scalp, just like when they were newlyweds. Margaret could get really uptight those days and this was one of the ways Hawkeye would calm her down. There was another way, but it takes longer than five minutes and leaves you a little sweaty. He hummed a little while her body slowly relaxed and her eyes closed.

She fell asleep in his arms. Hawkeye envied her, and wondered what she'd dream that night. Would it be whistling shells, crashing artillery and the coppery scent of blood? Sometimes Margaret would talk in her sleep about Korea, mumbling instructions to nurses and insults to doctors.

Hawkeye stared ay the ceiling and thought of all those letters he'd written that arrived at this very house. How his father must have cried sometimes over the things his son wrote about. He must have laughed, too, at the escapades and the nurse-chasing. In the long run, the young man that went to war came back a world-weary veteran that Daniel hardly knew. It took them a long time to connect again and Margaret played a large part in that. The war humanized her but left her with some demons, too, that took a long time to work out. Her drinking got out of hand once and the whole family witnessed her final war-related breakdown. Daniel was also key in her recovery.

What would they do without him? How would the family hold up at the funeral? The thoughts swirled in Hawkeye's head as the people that made up his world slept closely. Slowly, the memory of one of the best nights in Korea began to drift in, and he fell asleep holding Margaret's hand. It was soft and warm.


	4. Chapter 4

He heard a muffled hiss from the fireplace and came into semi-consciousness, feeling around for Margaret's hand but not finding it. Hawkeye would have sworn that noise was artillery and he was in the hut and Margaret was there, warm and comforting.

Instead she was by the fireplace in the old rocking chair. The chair was his grandmother's , well-used but well-loved. Margaret nursed both children in it and would often just sit and stare at the fire, rocking slowly back and forth. That's what she was doing now.

"Honey," was all he said. She turned to look at him and it was clear she was silently crying, and had been for a good while. She was so damn strong. Losing Potter and now Daniel just ripped her heart up. Any grief Hawkeye felt for both of them was amplified for her. She didn't need to put her "Major" hat on for Sherman or Daniel. She was just Margaret, who liked football and animals and served on town council and volunteered whenever needed.

But she was so strong. Every argument was fought tooth and nail. Her battle was alcohol was a triumphant one. Both of the kids were healthy and stubborn and wonderful. Hawkeye believed most of the credit went to her.

He crawled out of bed and tried to comfort her. She melted into his arms.

"You should go back to bed. I'll be fine," she said. The tears in her eyes reflected the firelight. Hawkeye ran his hands through her hair and down her back. She would be fine, but all this hurt would take a long time to heal.

There was a bumping noise downstairs, then the kettle's faint whistle. He guessed it was Ellie making tea. "Oh, that kid is up again," Margaret sighed. "Old habits die hard."

Hawkeye laughed. Ellie never was a good sleeper. Even when Margaret was pregnant, Ellie would doze through the day and commence kicking at night.

Potter and Daniel were ecstatic when Ellie came along. Hawkeye was nervous at first, then excited and then just absolutely in love with his girls. In her last few months of pregnancy, Margaret was exhausted and hardly able to do anything. Daniel waited on her hand and foot and Potter would call once every other day to talk and do a "phone checkup". He'd been the best obstetrician of the MASH bunch. Poor Margaret looked like a beach ball. Hawkeye thought she was adorable.

Then Ellie was born with her big blue eyes and dark hair. A few years later came Ben Jackson, dark blonde and blue-eyed, breaking women's hearts from the get-go. All the touch football, picnics, school plays and nights in front of the TV laughing were just gravy. BJ once said the two were the entire unit's children, since everyone played a part in their existence. But it took a push from closer to home to get Hawkeye to seal the deal.

"_Don't lose that girl, son. She's the best thing that's happened to you. She loves you. I see her eyes."_

Daniel wanted them together. She came up for a week, admittedly feeling lost and drifting. Nothing was how she expected it to be and the Army was ancient history. He was just barely functioning and adrift himself, spending most of his time staring at the ocean. They walked on the beach. They ate and talked. They smiled. When it was time for her bus to leave, Daniel provided that extra push Hawkeye needed. He proposed on the breakwater with his mother's ring. They were married two months later by the ocean. Father Mulcahy did the honors.

Remembering all that, Hawkeye was silent for a long time. Margaret wasn't crying as hard. She cradled his head in her lap and stroked his hair. They would have to go through Daniel's house and clean it out, sell the car, sell the house and close the door.

But first was the funeral. They could hear Ben in the kitchen now, mumbling and sorting through the cabinets.

"Would you like some tea?" Margaret whispered. "I need to see the kids."

"Let's go," he said. They left the room hand in hand. It was three a.m.


	5. Chapter 5

On July 2, 1954, Margaret Houlihan showed up at the door. She looked less like herself and more like every ghost that passed through the 4077th. Her green eyes, once luminous in the dying light, reflected nothing now. Neither of them could say anything. There was nothing to say. Something Hawkeye thought was gone kept coming back.

Daniel invited her. She called looking for Hawkeye and Daniel just happened to answer. She was out of the Army and cowering in New Jersey with her sister after being promised a stateside hospital and then being assigned to Germany.

Hawkeye's reaction to the news was a cloaked indifference. In truth, it made it harder for him. There were still feelings there. A lot of them. She was in all his dreams, sometimes on the outskirts and sometimes the central character.

While he couldn't think of how to talk to her, Daniel took a shine to Margaret. He prepared a huge spaghetti dinner and gingerbread for dessert. She hesitantly took a bite from the mound of pasta and smiled, digging in. She drank an entire glass of milk and went back for more. She ate two big slices of garlic bread. She said the gingerbread was the best she'd ever had and demolished a piece and a half. Hawkeye watched her and picked at his own meal.

He'd never seen her so pale or so sick looking. He guessed she was drinking a lot. That turned out to be true. That night, though, she was chug-a-lugging milk and turned down a beer after dinner.

"Ben, why don't you take Margaret out to sit on the porch, watch the boats," Daniel said softly. Margaret offered to help clean but he shooed them both out of the kitchen. Hawkeye dragged two Adirondack chairs together on the back porch, facing the ocean. Late evening sailors were out. The water cast golden glints into the sunset.

Margaret plopped heavily into her chair, shedding her sandals. "This place – I can see why you missed it. It's so quiet ," she smiled wanly.

"Yeah, well, wait til the 4th because all the tourists will be through mooching lobsters. We usually brave the crowds and go to the festival downtown if you're game."

"I'd like that," she said softly, staring at her hands. Hawkeye noticed her nails were torn and ragged. He wanted the Margaret he knew back, not this sad-eyed woman who didn't look like she could walk three steps. He wanted her to boss him around, pull rank, get angry, draw blood. Instead of waiting for all this, he reached over and held her hand, caressing her palm with his thumb.

Margaret sighed and closed her eyes. She didn't let go. They sat there for a few hours silently, listening to the water crash against the rocks. Hawkeye woke up when the screen door kerboinged and Daniel came out with a big bowl of popcorn and some sodas. "Thought you kids might like a snack," he smiled, giving the bowl to Hawkeye. Margaret stirred in her sleep.

"Popcorn? "

"Honey, I put enough butter and salt on it to sink a ship. I hear butter was hard to come by in the war."

Margaret happily grabbed the bowl and a ginger ale. "Daniel, you should join us out here. We're putting each other to sleep," she said.

"Naaah. Think I'm going to take my walk and see if anyone's got a card game going tonight. So, I'll see you two later."

Hawkeye knew what his father was doing. He snagged some popcorn and sipped his Dr. Pepper. "See the lighthouse out on the spit? It's been there since 1870. My grandfather used to fill in as caretaker sometimes."

"Hey Hawkeye?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for this. I'm feeling a little lost. That's an understatement. I'm really feeling lost and this is the first time I've felt comfortable since I've been back."

He fiddled with the soda bottle. "How long have you been back stateside?"

"Four months. I was at the 8063rd and then I went to Tokyo and then Germany and I was outprocessed at Fort Dix. I haven't really done anything since then. I bought the car, I stayed with my sister but my father's not happy with me. I just don't feel like myself, like I'm still going to have to go back. Do you feel the same way?"

Hawkeye jerked up in his seat. She hit the bullseye. "Everything feels temporary and I can't convince myself it's not," he said. Margaret reached over and held his hand again. "With you it's like I'm seeing a ghost."

"Same here. When you opened the door my knees were knocking. I think your dad's been very worried about you. You're skin and bone."

"So are you," he said, tightening his grip. They sat for a long time. Margaret was snoring soundly and he didn't have the heart to wake her. Instead, he picked her up – she was so light – and hauled her up to the guest room.

Before he could slide her into bed, her grip tightened around his shoulders and she gave him a buttery kiss. "Thank you," she muttered, before letting go and sliding into the covers. Hawkeye stood in the doorway a long time, watching her sleep. He was already feeling a little better.

Daniel met him on the stairs. "She's out like a light, Dad."

"Take care of her, son. I don't know what happened to the women you used to write me about, but she's in the somewhere. We'll feed her and pamper her until she's sick of it. You love her don't you?"

Hawkeye hugged his father. "I do, Dad," he whispered. "Maybe saving her will save me."


	6. Chapter 6

The soft light from the kitchen illuminated the adjacent dining room in shadows. Hawkeye stopped in there, just watching his children be themselves. Margaret was silent beside him, her eyes unreadable.

"What is Ma going to do without Grandpa?" said Ben, forking into a pie. "I mean, she always says that he was the reason she and Dad were ever together anyway."

"I think Korea played a part in that too," Ellie replied, stirring her tea and snapping off a piece of the crust.

Ben shook his head. "You know what I mean. He had to act as referee around here."

Ellie made a face and tapped her ear, signaling they were perhaps talking too loud. "Both of them are old enough now to handle each other. They don't seem to bicker as much since Mom stopped drinking. They'll survive," she whispered.

"When are you going to tell them you won't be home this summer?"

Hawkeye looked at Margaret, raising his eyebrows. "School?" he mouthed. Margaret shrugged her shoulders. Part of her couldn't blame Ellie for wanting to stay in Florida.

"I'll tell them when everything's over. All I'd be doing up here is lifeguarding and pissing off Mom. She'll understand even if Dad doesn't. She liked Florida."

Hawkeye felt guilty for eavesdropping. He grabbed Margaret's hand and pulled her along into the kitchen, startling both Ben and Ellie. "Hey kiddos, guess you couldn't sleep either," he smiled.

"Nawp," said Ben. Ellie seemed a little rattled. Hawkeye sat beside her and stretched out his legs.

"I brought some orange tea up with me if anyone wants any," Ellie offered.

"I would love some," said Margaret. "It smells heavenly."

They all sat for about an hour, picking at the pie and not saying much. Hawkeye took it as an opportunity to daydream, remembering all the Thanksgivings and Christmases in the kitchen with his parents, then just his father, then Margaret and the kids.

Margaret looked good these days. As bedraggled as she'd been when they got together after Korea, she seemed to grow younger after a few months in Maine. She looked more like Hot Lips Houlihan, a little curvy, soft around the edges this time. Daniel would sit her down and stuff food in her face and just let her talk. It helped. Hawkeye felt better when she began feeling better. Both still had their demons.

And those demons spilled to Ellie. No one else at the table knew this, but he found Ellie semi-conscious in the hallway the year before, eyes blank, limp and frightening. Hawkeye found pills and was able to get her stomach pumped before anything else happened. Ellie ended up weak and crying on the bathroom floor, holding her father for dear life. "_**What if I lost you**_?" he yelled, shaking her. "_**What the hell would I do**_?" He never told Margaret. He told his father.

"She is a lot like you. Too damn driven," was all Daniel could said, but there were tears.

"Oh, Charles Winchester called to give his condolences," said Ellie, snapping Hawkeye out of his thoughts. Charles was a good friend now. He had a son a little older than Ben from a failed marriage. "He says he's going to try and make it up today."

"That would be nice," said Margaret. She sighed and leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes.

Ben was still eating. He was a big kid, a regular chick magnet, Hawkeye thought. From the age of about 11 on, the Pierces were on the receiving end of several giggly phone calls a month. The best part was hearing Margaret answer them. "Who do you want? Stop laughing. You want Benny? BEN! GET DOWN HERE! One of your admirers has called, Your Highness."

Ellie was harder to read on these matters. She was clever enough to be sneaky when it came to boys, knowing full well that having Doctor Pierce and opinionated Margaret as parents would scare some of them off.

They all said their goodnights again and shuffled upstairs. The funeral was at one but they expected a steady stream of people all day. Hawkeye stoked the fire and pulled an extra blanket over Margaret. She smiled warmly, the first real smile he'd seen from her in the last few days. __"_She's a doll once you scrape the war off_ _her_," Daniel said once.

His last though before drifting off centered on the three people that depended on him the most. Ellie in the bathtub wearing a wet suit with swim fins, drinking a soda and listening to the radio. Ben, playing whiffle ball barefoot in the snow. Margaret, shaving off exactly half of BJ's mustache while he slept in a chair on their porch.

_Lucky us, but God bless us all tomorrow. _

Sleep came and it stayed a while.


	7. Chapter 7

**July 24, 1954.**

She watched him on the edge of the breakwater. His head hung low. Margaret was heartbroken at the thought of leaving but Crabapple Cove didn't have any reason for her to stay. Hawkeye had not given her a reason.

A pang of longing rocked her. For two weeks he'd made no move toward her in any romantic form. The last night in Korea had her thinking that they might have a future together. Now they were about to leave each other again, maybe for good.

What made it all so crazy is Margaret knew she loved him. It was his smile, his laugh, his slight limp and even those big, cold feet. She saw that hurt look deep down in his eyes when she mentioned going back to her sister's house. Hawkeye left the porch quietly and practically threw his glass into the sink. Now she was packed and it was time to go.

Margaret took off her shoes and left them with her suitcase in the sand. Slowly, she picked her way across the rocky wall until she was about ten feet behind him. He turned around.

"I don't know whether to say goodbye or throw you into the ocean," she said, moving closer.

Hawkeye turned around again to stare back out at the waves. There was stubble on his face and his hair was unwashed. This was the dirty visage of Korea's Captain Hawkeye Pierce, retired from the wackiest MASH in the Army.

She moved closer until she could reach out and touch him. "Don't you want to say goodbye?" she asked, sucking in a breath.

"I don't think I ever want to say goodbye to you," he said in a whisper. The waves ceaselessly pounded the craggy rock and the breeze carried his words out into the ocean. Margaret put her hand on his elbow.

"Why, Hawkeye?"

He turned again, tears in his eyes, smiling slightly. "Because I love you."

Margaret gasped. It was every nightmare and every dream she ever had. Now he was fishing around in his jeans pocket, still looking at her with that little smile.

"I love you too," she whispered back. She was losing the battle to control her breathing. Hawkeye let out a sigh. In a quick motion he reached out to grab her hand and produced a sparkling band of white gold.

"This was my mother's ring. Dad gave it to me last night," he said, slipping it on her finger. "He says we can have the house. He wants something smaller. So Margaret, whaddya say?"

"Can't we do this the traditional way?"

"What, you want to get pregnant first?"

She was not amused.

"Okay," he said, sinking slowly to his knee. "Margaret Houlihan, will you marry me?"

She thought about that big white house with the two chairs on the porch and her suitcase in the sand. She loved him so much it scared her. His blue eyes were still watery as he looked up at her, hopeful…

"Yes. I thought you'd never ask."

Hawkeye stood up and they stared at each other for a long minute. Then she let out a shriek and jumped into his arms. He held her tight for a long time.

**November 1955.**

"Be sure and thank your dad for all that food."

Margaret felt like a tick about to pop. She watched Hawkeye change into a pair of pajama pants. He was still so skinny. She couldn't believe how much he could eat and not gain weight. It was a struggle to watch her own weight fluctuate.

"Aw. He likes to cook and besides, he's better at it than I am," Hawkeye said, bending over to stoke the fireplace. He raced into bed because the night air was so chilly. Margaret was smart enough to dive under the covers early and just skim a LOOK magazine.

"See this? These are those new cars I was telling you about," she said, folding over a page.

"Volkswagon. Margaret, you want a GERMAN car? I thought you said your family applauded the Hindenberg crash."

"I just think it's nice. Plenty of room and cheap. We can swing it."

Hawkeye sighed. Sharing a car was an ordeal but spending money on a car no one in Crabapple Cove could repair wasn't a good idea.

"Please," she said. "Come on. We're working, doing okay."

"Let's wait on it. Maybe Carl will get something we can both agree on," Hawkeye said, knowing full well one of the funny little cars was in his immediate future. He clicked off his light and prepared for a verbal retaliation. Nothing came. She just kept staring at that page as he began to inch closer and started kissing her neck.

"Uh, Hawkeye?"

"Yes dear."

"You know I saw Doctor Shelton today."

"Do you know that turkey still owes me five bucks from poker?"

Hawkeye began to feel a little warmer but Margaret was ignoring his advances. "Well, what's up with Shelton?" he asked impatiently.

She looked at the ceiling. Hawkeye had a strange feeling of déjà vu.

"He says I'm pregnant."

Hawkeye sat straight up like a rocket. "Pregnant? We're…you and I…are having a baby?"

Margaret nodded, smiling. Hawkeye started jumping on the bed and she dissolved into laughter. "This is the best news of my life! A baby!" he yelled.

She remembered Daniel's bear hug earlier in the day. He assured her Hawkeye would be okay with things_. "Little lady, I am so proud for both of you. My goodness. Grandkids," he said, sinking back in his favorite leather chair, smiling._

Hawkeye stopped jumping and fell back to a reclining position, staring at her with the most peaceful look she'd ever seen. His blue eyes seemed lighter. Four years ago, could she even have imagined?

"Wow," was all he said, but Margaret knew he was thinking the same thing. "Kids."

"Unreal," she agreed.


	8. Chapter 8

Hawkeye cracked an eye open at the sound of a listless rain pattering on the window by the bed.

Then he heard movement down in the kitchen, pans being dropped and the radio playing low. Margaret was still curled into the crook of his back, so it had to be one of the kids. He sat up to go investigate but only got as far as swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Daniel Pierce would be buried in a cold rain, damn the permafrost. Hawkeye screwed his eyes shut, willing himself to be strong like the rest of his family. He was concentrating so hard he didn't feel the bed shift.

"You're going to be fine," Margaret said in a deep, sleepy voice. "Let the rest of us be the strong ones today, OK?"

She knew. They were at the point now they could finish each other's sentences. She knew what he was internalizing.

"It's too cold," he said. The tears were welling up in the corner of his eyes.

"I know. Come here, come here."

She pulled him back down on the bed and wrapped her arms around him, tight. One hand stroked his hair and the other rubbed his back. His body relaxed, as it always did with her touch. She was so beautiful to him. She always had been. Even before there was even an inkling there would even be a Hawkeye and Margaret Pierce. Even on those terrible blood-spattered nights in the operating room when they were so tired and ragged. Even those scattered times in her tent, when the nights would get too lonely and desperate for them to deny each other.

Misses Hawkeye Pierce. Major Margaret Houlihan. Best nurse in Korea and one of the best nurses in the country. Mother of his children. Brilliant town councilwoman. Maker of oatmeal. Still bossy and opinionated as ever.

Hawkeye kissed her. He couldn't convey all he felt for this woman but kissing seemed to be the right thing to do.

"Oh God…did Ellie say Charles might be coming up?" Margaret stiffened. Charles Winchester always took the early train.

"He's seen us in our skivvies plenty of times. I know he got a good look at you in a towel once."

She grunted and got up. "At least let's get some breakfast together before the natives get restless," Margaret said, tying on a robe and pinning up her hair. Her stiff upper lip was kicking in gear.

"Someone's making something down there," Hawkeye smiled, putting on his own robe.

"Making a mess I'll bet."

To their surprise, the kitchen wasn't messy at all. The coffee was brewing, the woodstove was blazing and Ellie was standing there in her own bathrobe supervising it all. "Hey," she said, smiling a little.

Hawkeye couldn't hide his surprise. "Hey yourself, kid," he said, kissing her on the cheek. "Is your brother up?"

"He's out fetching firewood."

Margaret didn't say anything. She was either stunned both kids were up early, Ellie was making breakfast or Ben was actually doing something without being ordered to. A warm cinnamon smell was starting to fill the kitchen, mingling with the coffee and the smoky scent from the stove. "I know what you've been hiding…one of those big crumbles from the bakery," Hawkeye smiled. It was one of his favorite treats and Margaret was never known to turn one down either.

"There are two just in case Dr. Winchester shows up."

Margaret smiled and when Ellie turned to the sink, she tugged Hawkeye's wrist and mouthed the word "strong". Ben came in, dripping wet and laden with firewood. His sandy colored hair was slightly curly in the dampness.

"Margaret, you sure he's not Trapper's kid? I'm seeing a little Trapper there. You guys have a little hanky panky on the beach I don't know about?" Hawkeye said, nudging her. Another family joke. Ben didn't look much like a Pierce and he looked everything like a Houlihan. Margaret looked around, making sure the kids were occupied.

"I know whose son he is. Look at all the water he dripped on the floor and the mud and his boots are just tumbled in the corner. Really, was there ever any question?"

Hawkeye smiled. He even knew where and when Ben was conceived. Right on the beach. She was wearing that red dress and he couldn't keep his hands to himself. It was worth the sunburn on his ass.

He was even pretty sure Ellie was conceived at the drive-in during To Catch a Thief. Hitchcock would explain a lot. After Korea it seemed like they couldn't see enough movies after all the crappy ones they had to endure. When A Star Is Born came out Margaret saw it three times, twice by herself. When they got the TV they'd plan evenings around it, making popcorn and lighting a huge fire. That continued after Ellie and Ben came along and even now when Carol Burnett was on all of them would gather, even though the kids took up a lot of space on the couch.

"Hawkeye, you're drifting on us again."

" I was thinking of how those wild things two came to be."

Margaret blushed and looked at the floor. Sex was easy for them. Everything else was hard.

"Annnnnd here's Johnny!" Ellie said, plopping the crumble in the middle of the table. Ben handed out plates and forks and poured the coffee. Margaret cut a huge slice for herself and Hawkeye just nibbled on a slice from the edge. No one said much. All the emotions swirled around them. Daniel was a touchstone and part of all of them. Imagining him gone was an impossibility. It was hard to grasp he wouldn't be over that morning, looking for a cup of coffee and talking to Margaret while she read the paper. He encouraged her to run for council. She proved tireless and compassionate, an advocate for the tiny free clinic, rescue services and ecology, even though the latter was due to Ellie's encouragement.

Daniel was also the impetus for saving thousands of lives in battle. After bothering his son to write down and document the medical techniques and practices at the 4077th, Hawkeye finally took the hint and collaborated with Margaret, Charles, BJ and Potter. It grew from a few papers to an elaborate manual, full of personal asides and observations. Hawkeye and Charles and sometimes just Margaret would make appearances to present the material to military doctors or even inner city emergency room staffs. It brought Hawkeye a sense of fulfillment and closure. He was even thinking about writing a book about the 4077th, but having to re-hash all those painful memories stopped him cold.

"I guess we should get dressed," Margaret said softly. None of them moved. Tears began to roll down Ben's face and Ellie got up to look out the window at the ocean. Hawkeye joined her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.


	9. Chapter 9

As Margaret wrapped her arms around Ben, Hawkeye held Ellie close. She was more like him than anyone ever could be, but there was a lot of Margaret in her too. It just wasn't as close to the surface but it came up one summer a few years before.

Crabapple Cove had become a popular spot for vacationers. In May they would start showing up swarms, tired of the crowded beaches further south, all craving lobster and ice cream. In Hawkeye's youth the town never bothered with lifeguards but now that society was more safety conscious, five were hired each summer. One of them was always Ellie, starting when she was 14.

The Atlantic had a vicious undertow off the Cove and it was known locally that if you were just casually swimming you only could go out so far. There were buoys that marked where the water began to deepen, too. The locals respected the ocean. Even the strongest swimmers didn't tempt mother nature's wrath.

But still…

Hawkeye remembered one summer in the 40's when five people died. Two were children. Daniel rowed out as fast as he could but the bodies were never recovered. The families stood huddled on the beach, looking at the horizon, their loved ones swept into the hands of King Neptune. The drownings still made him shudder. Margaret always thought the water was too cold, so she never went in much, but Ellie and Ben knew about such things at an early age and were admirably careful.

One August morning just after Ellie turned 15 she bounded downstairs happy, already covered in suntan lotion. Hawkeye heard her in the kitchen chatting with her mom, a nice chat, unlike most of their usual confrontations. Ellie bobbed into the living room and kissed him on the cheek, smearing it with zinc. Ben was already outside tossing a football with Charley Winchester, who was staying with them for a few days. "Wow," said Charley, once she was out of earshot. "You didn't tell me your sister looked so good."

"That would be gross, Chuck. That's why you don't have a sister," Ben said, annoyed.

"She looks good in a bathing suit, is all. Maybe we could go down to the beach later?"

"Sure you perv. Then why dontcha marry her?" Ben said loudly, tackling his friend. Hawkeye laughed. Oh to be twelve again. He went out to join the boys. Daniel even threw a couple of passes when he came through, on his way to read the paper and drink coffee on the porch with Margaret.

"That Winchester boy has the hots for Ellie. Hawkeye said his eyes were the size of half dollars when she left today," Daniel remarked, sitting down next to his daughter-in-law. Margaret just laughed into her coffee. "Seems I remember his dad had the hots for a certain blonde as well. Must be in the genes."

Margaret blushed. "You know I like Charles, but his people skills have always been a little poor. Anyway, my tastes run to the tall, dark and skinny guys who actually enjoy spending time with their children. Go figure."

Daniel nodded. He could hear Hawkeye shouting in the front yard and the ball thumping off the side of the house. They talked a little more about hospital gossip and the new chemo treatment doctors were trying in Portland. It was a contented morning but already the cars were starting to back up at the beach entrance.

"Andy's going to get some business today," observed Margaret. Andy Parker ran the local garage and showroom. Every summer he made a killing from tourists and their overheated engines. He had three wreckers. When Ben was small he'd yell and scream when one of them would come down the street, lights flashing.

From their vantage point, Margaret and Daniel could see the public beach and even just make out Ellie's guard tower. She sat under a cock-eyed umbrella, whistle at ready. One of Andy's wreckers trundled down the street with its chains rattling. Daniel was dozing and Margaret was slowly nodding off, too. The sounds of football continued from the front yard, with Ben loudly contesting something.

Suddenly, there were three sharp whistles. Margaret and Daniel jolted up in time to see Ellie standing up in the guard tower. It was hard to see what she was pointing at, but all other movement on the beach and in the water seemed to have stopped. Mike Carr was in the other tower, son of the family that ran the IGA. He was standing up, too, pointing toward one of the farthest buoys.

Hawkeye, Ben and Charley raced around from the front yard. Someone was obviously caught in the undertow, but the guards had been told under no circumstances to swim out to that buoy. Hawkeye knew in his heart Ellie and Mike were about to ignore that.

Quick as a flash, Ellie was off her tower and running toward the water, diving in and swimming as hard as she could. Behind her, the o-shaped life preserver dragged along, giving the impression she was being chased by an orange donut. Mike was running up the beach, toward the rescue kayaks.

"Oh shit," said Margaret. She and Hawkeye and Daniel all bolted toward the front door. "Ben, call the police and tell them what's going on, okay? Charley, you and Ben stay put and hold down the fort."

Ben ran for the phone and Charley ran back out to the porch. The rest tore toward the beach in the old Volkswagon, weaving in and out of traffic and pissing off dozens of people who had no idea what was going on. The police chief met them down there. He knew the Pierces well, having grown up with Hawkeye. "Looks like a brother and sister were playing on a raft and they ended up going down out past buoy 7. Oldest one is eight," he said. Mike was paddling furiously around the buoy and Ellie kept popping up and then diving under.

Daniel and Margaret went down to where the water just touched the sand. The children's parents were there, and between Hawkeye and the town's other cop. They were sitting in the sand, calm, but with tears flowing down their faces. The locals were shooing everyone off the beach, sending them further up to the colder waters of Spruce Harbor. An ambulance sat idling by.

A whistle came from out on the water. Mike turned the kayak around and was paddling back furiously. As he came closer, Margaret spotted the little girl lying across Mike's lap. The family screamed in unison. Even before the boat hit shore, Daniel was in the water, grabbing the girl. He laid her on the sand gently and began CPR. Her face was blue. The rescue squad came running.

Margaret watched some of this and turned her attention back to the water. Ellie was nowhere to be seen. She sucked in air and was just about to yell when the ambulance siren blasted and she jumped out of her skin.

"Where is she? Where's El?" Daniel asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. Margaret kept scanning the horizon. "Wait..I think I see her!"

Sure enough, Ellie was swimming with all her might, trying to hold the little boy's head out of the water. Mike met her with the kayak and dragged the little boy on. Ellie swam beside it all the way back. Daniel repeated his actions as a second ambulance pulled in and took over. Margaret watched it pull away with the family inside. Mike wandered off, stopping to throw up in a trashcan. His parents intercepted and loaded him in their grocery delivery truck to take him home.

Ellie was bone-tired. She was shivering because the water was so old that far out. Margaret held her close. "Hawk, she's so cold. I can feel it."

Hawkeye looked at his little girl, who didn't look so grown up any more as she sat on the beach and trembled. "I don't where you learned to swim like that, kiddo, but you guys stole the show," said the sheriff.

"Are they okay? I mean, will they be…alive?" Ellie asked.

Daniel stood over her. "El, I don't know. You did everything you could," he said quietly.

"They're going to die, aren't they?"

Margaret reached for her hand. "Don't touch me," Ellie said brusquely. She began stalking back up to the parking lot and down the path to home.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said that," Daniel frowned. Hawkeye didn't say anything. "Doing all you could" was something he heard a lot in Korea and it always rang hollow.

The drive back to the house was a quiet one. Ben and Charley were back in the front yard, just waiting. "Did they make it?" Ben asked, trailing behind all of them.

"No son, I'll be surprised if they did," Daniel said quietly, putting a hand on Ben's shoulder. The boy looked down as if deep in thought. "Why don't you guys go see a movie, my treat?" Daniel handed each of them a five dollar bill and they bolted down the sidewalk, glad for an out.

"Someone's gotta talk to Ellie," Hawkeye said. When Daniel and Margaret said nothing, he shrugged and walked in the house. A closet door slammed upstairs.

He found his daughter sitting on her bed wrapped in a towel, hands folded and frowning at the floor. "El, we need to talk," Hawkeye said, sitting on the bed next to her.

"About what? The fact I can't swim fast enough? The fact this damn ocean just swallows people? What about that family? They started their day so happy," Ellie said, sucking a breath, "And now it's the worst day ever. How the hell do you explain that?"

"I can't."

"Well then, we have nothing to talk about."

"Don't you dare carry around this guilt. You did everything you could. I…"

He looked at her wrist. It was chafed raw and bloody by the life preserver rope. He pulled the towel off and noticed a deep cut on her shoulder. "Did you know you were hurt?"

Ellie craned around trying to see the wound on her shoulder. She shrugged. Hawkeye pulled the towel back over her and stood up. "Let me get my bag so we can get all the sand out of these cuts and get you stitched up." He nearly ran straight into Margaret in the hallway. "She's got some pretty deep abrasions on her wrist and a nasty cut to the shoulder. She still won't talk to me at all."

Margaret winced. She didn't like the look in Ellie's eyes out on the beach. They mirrored Hawkeye's in his darkest days at the 4077th. Daniel came up, tentatively. He knew Margaret and Hawkeye needed to handle this themselves, but there was no reason why he couldn't talk to the kid a little.

"Dad, she needs some stitches and irrigation but she's not talking," explained Hawkeye.

"Chip off the old block," said Daniel, staring at both of them. "Give me the bag. I'll do the stitches." Hawkeye meekly handed it over and wrapped his arms around Margaret.

"Hey swimmer. I hear you need some sewing," Daniel said, sitting next to Ellie.

"No, I think it will be fine with a Band-aid."

"You don't want a scar or an infection. Let me see here."

He cleaned her wrist and wrapped it in gauze. Ellie flinched at the novacaine shot but remained quiet as Daniel stitched carefully. "You know your dad used to scream like a banshee when I'd come at him with a needle. Glad you didn't inherit that."

"Mom would strangle me if I acted that way."

Daniel smiled to himself.

"Hear tell this is a tough one and you know it doesn't get any easier as an adult," Daniel said, snipping off the end of the thread.

"I didn't feel like I did enough. I just keep thinking of how scared those kids got. And then they gave up," she shuddered. "The water was so cold out there…the undertow…"

"I know honey. I've lost so many friends, your grandma, and for a few days in Korea I thought I lost your dad. Death is part of life, for me and your folks. But when it's children, things are different. It's harder and it's tough for me, your dad and believe it or not, even your mom."

Tears came coursing down Ellie's cheeks. "Not fair," she said. Daniel hugged her tight.

"I know, baby. You'll be okay, I promise. You're going to be a brilliant scientist someday. Life and death will take on a whole new meaning for you. Likely you'll understand it better than any of us old sawbones."

Ellie pulled back and smiled at him, eyes sparkling.

Hawkeye and Margaret still clung to each other in the hall. "What will we do when he leaves us?" Margaret whispered.

Hawkeye had no answer.

He didn't even want to think about it.


	10. Chapter 10

Charles showed up at half-past eleven. He apologized for being late. They made more coffee and put him on door duty so the family could get dressed.

"Is that an apple crumble on the stove? Where are the forks? Mah-gret, just leave it to me. I'll accept the cavalcade of baked goods and _chow-dah _as you people call it," he smirked.

"He really hasn't changed much," Margaret whispered on the stairs.

"Less hair, more pounds," said Hawkeye, taking her hand. "It is nice to have him here, though."

Friends. After the war, it didn't seem like anyone could understand how it felt to come back to a country that didn't feel like the same one you left. Hawkeye spent twenty dollars on a nice radio right before he left and came home to a chunk of outdated plastic. The cars were all different, the fashions changed and all the appliances looked like fighter planes.

Hawkeye called BJ, but he was dealing with his own issues. Potter was still the same but busy on the farm. So was Radar. Margaret hadn't shown up yet. One night, he called Charles and to his relief and surprise they talked for an hour about nothing and everything. Then Charles married a Texan. Then she got pregnant and left him soon after Charles Emerson Winchester the Fourth was born, the same young man who palled around with Ben and eyed Ellie.

A knock came. They listened to the exchange at the door. "Oh, dear me, CHOW-dah. How kind. Of course I'll tell them to butter the bowls. Not doing that would just be silly." You could nearly hear him rolling his eyes.

Some laughter floated out of Ellie's room. "Whatta piece of work," they heard her mumble.

Old habits never die. Hawkeye always loved watching Margaret undress. She cited this as proof he was still a pervert. It wasn't like he hit on other women. He just loved her, plain and simple.

"Remember your Geisha girl dress? The one you wore for Halloween in Korea?" he asked, lying back on the bed. Margaret had her back to him and was pulling up her hose. "That was nice."

"Yeah. You felt me up that night…I remember that."

"So I did. You didn't put up much of a fight."

She turned around. He was expecting anger but saw something else in her eyes. "I never would have, you know," she said softly. "Not then."

He blushed, remembering sliding his hand up her thigh in the Officer's Club. At the very least he expected a stern rebuke, at most a slap. Instead she covered his hand with hers. Then they danced until neither could stand up straight any longer. He wasn't scared of war anymore at that point. He was tired and worn and ragged and on the edge of terrible.

"Had I known that I would have been in your tent more often," he winked. She threw her nightgown at him half-heartedly. Toward the end he spent quite a bit of time ravishing the body of his favorite Major. He counted on feeling her heartbeat, just to remind him he was still alive, that they were both among the living and not the ghosts.

Now here she was, Margaret Pierce, wearing a somber black dress and her pearls, pinning up her hair. Down the hall, Ben's stereo cranked up and Ellie was on the phone, jabbering away and the floors shook with every bass note from Vanilla Fudge. Charles gabbed with someone on the porch.

Hawkeye shrugged into his funeral suit, noting it was growing a little tight around the middle. He didn't dress up much, just a sweater to the office and a flannel around the house. The exception was the lectures. The last death in the community was the undertaker himself, a solemn and strange man all the kids ran away from. Daniel said he didn't blame them, the guy sniffed too much embalming fluid to ever make any sense. The suit fit better then. Hawkeye eyed a snapshot of himself and Ben hiking and made a mental note to rack up some miles in the spring.

"Well, do I look okay?" Margaret asked, turning around in front of him.

"Honey, if we weren't headed to a funeral you'd be in big trouble. I wouldn't let you out of this room for a week."

"Perrr-vert," she said in a sing-song voice, but with a smile. "I'm going to go kick the kids into gear."

She stomped down the hall, leaving Hawkeye to finish dressing alone. He put on his father's cufflinks. They were the only thing he'd taken from the house so far. They were a Christmas present from son to father, when Hawkeye was about 11. Daniel always wore them for the holidays, even though they were tacky little sterling silver playing cards.

Hawkeye looked at them closely, feeling the passage of time. He came back from Korea to find his father an old man, made old by years and worry about an only son taken away and thrust into a sort of hell. The cufflinks stayed the same. From his childhood, to med school, Korea, Margaret and the kids and now this loss. The tears were close to the surface, but broken by the sound of his children arguing over the bathroom, because some things never change.

Hawkeye managed a small smile. The door slammed. Argument over.

At 12:15 they were all lined up and ready to go. If there was a sedate side of the Pierce family, this was it. Ben was wearing his suit with his own lightning bolt cufflinks and purple tie. Ellie and Margaret were wearing their black dresses. Margaret's hair was up, Ellie's was down and Ellie was wearing a pukka shell necklace that could have only come from Florida.

"Let's hope the snow holds off," said Charles, shaking on his overcoat. "I put all the food in your refrigerator, save for some of the cookies a Misses Buckley made. I had to try them. Apple pie cookies. Just what will little old ladies think of next?"

"Ah, the food brigade," said Hawkeye, swinging open the front door. They clomped out and loaded the wagon for the half-mile ride to the church. Other cars honked and flashed their lights.

The church was packed. Dusty light from the stained glass filtered to the front pew where the family sat, patiently waiting for the service to begin. Margaret folded the program, trying not to look at the coffin. Ellie and Ben just looked around, giving half-hearted waves to friends and accepting hugs and kisses from the congregation.

Hawkeye couldn't move. He didn't know how he'd make it through, even with his loved ones at hand and Charles directly behind him. He held Margaret's hand and reached for Ellie's, thinking of how close he came to losing her, too.

Then the service finally began.


	11. Chapter 11

"You can never tell someone you love them enough. To make them understand, that is."

Hawkeye had all but forgotten what he was going to say about his father. Instead, the words just leapt from his mouth.

"_Son, keep your chin up. Korea sounds like hell. I love you. Come home safe."_

"My father told me he loved me a lot, probably because he never heard it from his dad. I didn't believe him, until I went to war. When you stand an inch from life and death…love and gratitude take on a whole new meaning. He showed me that it's okay to love, to say you love someone and KEEP saying it, at least until you think they believe you."

"_Do you take Margaret Elaine Houlihan in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"_

Margaret wept silently in the front pew. Next to her, Ellie and Ben were busy studying their shoes. Hawkeye could see the snow beginning to fall outside.

"And it is that gratitude that brings us all here. He loved this community. He loved Crabapple Cove enough to stay, even when the job offers came in. He loved every brutal winter and the chaos of fall. He loved me. He loved his grandkids."

"_Dad, did you ever kill anyone in Korea?"_

"He loved his daughter-in-law enough to just call her his daughter."

"_My name is Margaret and I'm an alcoholic."_

Hawkeye stopped for a moment, remembering the hurt and pain and blood and dust. The sour martini and the smell of mildew, burning trash, old latrines and cheap Japanese perfume. He remembered missing his father and never being able to convey the emptiness in the letters he sent home. Daniel understood. He always did.

"_I miss her too. Your mother was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She would be so proud of you."_

"I don't know what we'll do without him. All of us in here are in debt to him and his memory. That's the thing about small towns, everyone's so inexplicably tied to each other. I'll love him forever and use the things he taught me for the rest of my life. That's about as much as you can honor the man."

Stiff legged and weak, Hawkeye stepped off the altar and into Margaret's arms. "I love you, I love you," he whispered over and over, feeling her wet face against his neck. Ben, who hated seeing anyone get upset, stepped in and grasped both of them. Ellie joined them, trying to comfort her father. He touched her face and felt tears. Eventually they all sat back down, holding hands. They were never the closest family in the world but today was easier to face as a unit.

After the service there was a small reception in the church hall. Charles was a hit with the old ladies. He ooohed and ahhhed over their cooking and talked about his life in Boston. A steady stream of people gave their regards to the Pierce family. Hawkeye and Ben's cheeks were covered in lipstick. Margaret, who always was the epicenter of activity in a crisis, was doling out punch in Dixie cups. She put Ellie in charge of the coffee, so that table was surrounded by a hoard of teenagers talking and laughing.

"Those women are outstanding. Salt of the earth," said Charles, holding a plate with two slices of cake on it. "How are you holding up?"

Hawkeye shrugged. "Best I can. Charles, I appreciate you being here," he said, with a small smile.

"Daniel Pierce was the kind of doctor we should all try to be. His help on our research was invaluable. I know he was proud of you. Look at your family," said Charles. "Not a bad egg among them. And to think…I knew you when."

"Yeah, I guess you did."

When the crowd left the Pierce family drove to the cemetery. There was supposed to be a graveside ceremony but Daniel was already buried. It seemed the sensible thing to do since snow was in the forecast. To Hawkeye, it didn't seem to matter anyway. Margaret, who was supposed to sing, was so emotionally drained she couldn't even attempt anything. Instead, Ben had his guitar and sang a sweet version of "Easy To Be Free", a song Daniel often requested. Ellie sang along out of habit and eventually, Margaret and Hawkeye joined in as the snow covered the dead winter grass and the wind blew across the ocean.


End file.
